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Booty and the Biatch

  • LOST Theatre 208 Wandsworth Rd London, SW8 United Kingdom (map)

Dec 14th - 17th, 8:15pm, 2hr (incl. interval)


This December, Excess All Areas and Paul L Martin present the 14th of their now iconic, adult pantomimes, Booty And The Biatch; the perfect antidote to the festive season's barrage of saccharine, family-friendly fare. 

Booty, whose derriere is not slight, is saving up to read books at Oxbridge by nicking things and selling them on Ebay. Her father, Maurice, is on a promise with Mary Berry, so he heads out for the Great British Bake-Off tent on his horse, Cheryl Cole. He discovers a palace populated by an overly sexed teapot and her fellow servants who tend to 'The Biatch'. When they finally meet, will Booty fall for this vile queen or turn instead to the Spandex-clad eurosceptic Garage instead?

Imagine a world where Mrs Potts the teapot is a meth-head who talks to herself, the beast she cares for is a vile queen and the candlestick, Lumiere, is lactose intolerant. Prepare to be shocked; prepare to be offended; prepare to cry with laughter!

Excess All Areas’ Panto regulars Holly Aisbitt and Jamie Anderson will take on the eponymous roles of Booty and The Biatch, respectively. Burlesque fans will be delighted to learn that the fabulous Fancy Chance will also appear and, taking a breather from directorial duties this year, writer and cabaret stalwart Paul L Martin will be treading the boards as pantomime dame Mrs Potts. They will be supported by an all-singing, all-dancing cast of exciting new talent for a four night run at their shiny new home, Lost Theatre.

After the enormous success of Alice in Poundland and last year's Pilates in the Caribbean, Paul L Martin’s Booty & The Biatch promises to be just as funny, and just as filthy! A quarter of all tickets have already sold, so you had better be quick if you want to catch this delightfully depraved take on a Disney classic. Don't let the kids have all the fun this winter.


Time Out Critic’s Choice for 5 years running

“guaranteed filthy fun, groan-worthy wordplay, a rousing tale of good overcoming evil and general tarting about” (Time Out)

“marvellously energetic and unexpected” (What’s Peen Seen)

“dirty and depraved” The London Paper


Earlier Event: November 29
Light Night Canning Town
Later Event: December 18
Cabaret Confidential